


let me drown in your laughter

by Cicadaemon



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, Tuberculosis? Don't know her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 07:59:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18890467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cicadaemon/pseuds/Cicadaemon
Summary: “Mister Morgan, I don’t care to go home. I’ll admit my main purpose for coming out here was to continue my wildlife photography, not to settle down, but I can’t seem to bring myself to leave here. I can’t go back to Albany and I can’t… well I don’t want to lose your company either.”“You really want to be stuck with me?” Was all he could reply with. His brain seemed to stop functioning. The idea of it all, living out here forever and with Albert, it made him breathless. And in the best way possible.





	let me drown in your laughter

California seemed to do the trick that it had promised him; his breath came easier than it had in months. Being the only state to have a Mediterranean climate, it boated dry summers and mild winters, which Arthur had been reminded time and time again was good for his lungs. Good for him to heal. It had been one of the many points Albert had brought up when trying to convince him to come out this way.

There had been much convincing months back, which Arthur thought on with amusement. Albert had been practically desperate in begging him to come with him to Yosemite, if only for a short while. The only thing that had held him back then was the gang. That was over now.

He didn’t like thinking on it.

So, with two tickets and the promise of the longest train ride of his life, Arthur left Saint Denis. When he envisioned finally heading out west, to virgin lands that held promise of wealth and peace, he had always imagined Hosea there at least. Along the way others joined. Susan, Lenny, Kieran, Molly, and poor Sean. He was supposed to travel out this way with them, but instead he left with a photographer he hated to admit he had become vulnerable to, not for pride and shame, but for more complicated reasons. Departure to say the least was not easy.

After two days, they had arrived, but did not stay long. Their destination was still further out. Yosemite Valley.

It had been the first time in so long that Arthur had been out beneath the stars with no worries. No background thoughts of money that need to be gained, or Pinkertons chasing behind. Nothing, but a moment. Or rather, nothing, but Albert.

Yosemite was beautiful beyond anything he had seen before, and Albert seemed to fit into the landscape. This trip had been an attempt to expand his photography further, and as Arthur had learned on their trip, the founding of Yosemite as a park had been what originally inspired him to become a wildlife photographer.

This was like paradise for him, and it made Arthur’s heart take flight and soar seeing Albert so happy.

But Yosemite came to an end. A week of hard living that somehow was the best week he’d ever had, and it was gone. Albert had never really spoke as to what he wanted to do further past the photos and Arthur had never really asked. Endless possibilities were open to him now, and yet he was surprised by the one that seemed so simple.

“There’s an old gold turned quarry town not far from Yosemite. Perfect little town.” Albert had brought up a day after they returned to San Francisco. They had rented out a simple flat in the city, which Arthur was surprised didn’t make his skin itch. Being in a city for too long always had that affect on him. The only difference now was the company.

“And?” He watched Albert carefully as he took a sip of coffee. The expression that formed on his face made Arthur chuckle. Completely unamused.

“And I have been told there’s some land out there for sale. Decent property that requires some fixing up.” What Albert was saying hadn’t clicked for some reason. The idea of what was being offered seemed like something Arthur didn’t deserve, so why should it be offered. And that thought must have been apparent as Albert continued. “Mister Morgan, I don’t care to go home. I’ll admit my main purpose for coming out here was to continue my wildlife photography, not to settle down, but I can’t seem to bring myself to leave here. I can’t go back to Albany and I can’t… well I don’t want to lose your company either.”

“You really want to be stuck with me?” Was all he could reply with. His brain seemed to stop functioning. The idea of it all, living out here forever and with Albert, it made him breathless. And in the best way possible.

“Being stuck with you would mean I wouldn’t want you about.” He said with a quick smile. “What do you say?”

There had been nothing left for him, not out East and really could he expect to make a life out here without anyone? That was a sort of loneliness he knew he couldn’t bear. But the idea of a life with Albert was something else. Something he hadn’t really allowed himself to want. It was all so complicated what he was feeling, but he could not bring himself to say no.

So, after property had been purchased and more train tickets purchased. This time the travelled had been less than a day to San Jose where, with the remainder of their money, they purchased horses and a simple wagon for what would be another two-day trip.

Every so often they would stop for Albert to set up his camera to take photos of what wildlife they came across. On one occasion, Albert had taken a portrait for a family they encountered. The wheel on their wagon had busted and Arthur had hopped down without a second thought to help them. Later, he would think just how much he had changed.

Arthur could barely remember when he last rode a distance such as this in such a way. Well before he got sick most likely; the only time really being when they had travelled down from Colter to Horseshoe Overlook. Hosea had ridden with him, his surrogate father still full of life and well in health, not counting the cough that never seemed to leave him.

His chest tightened thinking about it. He’d give anything to have Hosea with him here, to show him the beautiful landscapes or regale him in stories of Yosemite. The thought really struck him deep and hurt in a way that was hard to really comprehend. He avoided thoughts of Dutch for such reason, though the hurt was more feelings of betrayal than anything else.

His thoughts must have been apparent, as Albert touched his arm gentle. When Arthur looked to him, he was greeted by a soft smile and even softer eyes. He was constantly overwhelmed with the most delightful emotions around Albert. It was always enough to loosen chest.

“Not too far now.” He said loud enough to be heard over the creak of the wagon, but still soft enough Arthur found himself straining his ear. He wasn’t wrong, any moment now they’d be into the county proper and into town. “You’ll love it, Arthur.”

He shivered at the sound of his name, loving how tender it seemed to be spoken. He always did have a way of speaking in a way that made him seem so genuine at all times. It was what he liked about Albert so much.

“I’ll take your word for it, Mister Mason.” He said with a smile and looked back to the dirt road before them.

“For the hundred thousandth time, Arthur Morgan, you need to call me Albert.”

His smile grew stronger. “Of course…. Albert. Only if you never call me Mister Morgan again.”

He glanced over in time to see him smile and look back to his book. Albert’s skin was still nicely tan from the week they had spent out in Yosemite nearly a month ago.

“I can’t keep the promise.” He said as he flipped the page of his book. “Mister Morgan fits into my mouth so well.”

He hated that he blushed at that.

-

Mariposa was close to Blackwater in a sense. A town that started as nothing that was now becoming something.

It was a sprawling town, it reminded Arthur a little of Valentine in a sense, though everything seemed less chaotic somehow. He had learned quickly from Albert that it had once been a gold town, though those days were long past now. It served as mainly as a mining town, quartz for the most part. He had gotten a quick lesson on the short history of the town as they road onto main street. The lesson was promptly dropped when Albert had caught sight of the general store and made him stop.

Other than that they didn’t stay in town for long. Albert had come back to the wagon with a few supplies, including some weird looking fruit.

“California having such dry summers mean certain fruits grow here that you’d only find in Southern Europe.” Albert had said as he handed the small purple fruit to him. “I’ve never had a fig before, but I hear they’re good. Did you know some scholars believe that Eve’s forbidden fruit was not an apple but in fact a fig!”

And thus began another lesson as they made their way out of town and to their new property. The ride wasn’t that long and the view the whole time was glorious. Summer was in full swing which meant that the grass had burnt in the sun, but really it was something else. When they arrived at their destination, Arthur couldn’t help but think how the home was nothing compared to the views the valley had offered. It wasn’t much, just a small farmhouse that needed some repairs, but as they unloaded what they had and did the barest to settle in he thought it better than any place he’d been before.

Albert seemed to love it too. Seemed meaning that it was very apparent. The entire time they unpacked, he went on and on about how quaint and rustic it seemed. In the best of ways, Albert kept adding on. He loved how Albert could seem to praise everything and with the finest of words. He loved it so much, he couldn’t help, but smile and laugh at the it all. Albert took notice of it very quickly and all but threw him out of the house.

“Instead of laughing at me, why don’t you go hitch and feed the horse.”

So, he did. He took his time with it and enjoyed the warm air. Once done, he had walked over to the nearby pond and contemplated.

He was not one to settle for melancholy but looking out across the valley and hills he felt himself longing for what he had left behind. They had all talked about coming here once, the family he once had, but really it had been a far-fetched dream. There a tremendous amount of guilt knowing he’d been the only one to actually make it to the West they sought after.

Albert had not let him sit in these feelings for long. He had come out from the house and ordered Arthur about, hands on his hips that reminded him of a scolding mother. It reminded him of Miss Grimshaw, but that comparison pained him too much to want to settle on it. He shook his head and followed back into the house. It was simple in its plan, but there was nothing simple about the repairs that would have to be done.

“Do you even know how anything about construction.” Arthur had teased Albert when he had made a comment about them getting started on fixing the place up as he unpacked the last box.

“I’m a quick learner.”

“I know you, and you ain’t. Not with on hand things.”

Learning only did so much, and by the months end Albert’s hands had begun to callous and were littered with cuts. And most the repairs had been finished by that point too, a feat which seemed near impossible.

"Bad with hands on things you said?" Albert had said with a smile when he had made a comment on their progress.

"Yeah, but I guess pig headiness and stupidity go a pretty far way too." That had earned him a punch. He had been shocked by the strength behind it and how freely Albert laughed at his expression. Those laughs had become so easy to get in the short time they'd been there. And as more time pass, it really started to feel like home, and it did odd things to his heart think about it. Often he found himself losing himself in thoughts he didn’t want to venture into. He was constantly afraid that if he let these thoughts go too far they’d have dire consequences. Consequences that would lead him to losing what he had with Albert.

These thoughts, in short, were about how he hadn’t felt this way about a person since Mary Linton. Albert had wormed his way into his heart so many months ago and had become an extension to what he had once thought of as family. High praise to say the least, and soon family became something more. And he couldn’t dare think of that.

While he contended with these feelings, their family had expanded suddenly and not for the last time.

Arthur had woken early one morning, his breathing uneven and laboured. He had stepped outside for some fresh air, hoping that it would bring him some ease when he heard what sounded like rough growls and squeaks. He knew quickly enough it was a raccoon, but another noise caught his attention. The sounds of yowling. And it was all coming from the shed in the back.

He hadn’t been there in time to see the fight, but rather to see a raccoon scampering away into the bush and a very large hissing cat.

The plans for that morning were completely changed from finishing up repairs and by time Albert had woken up, the cat had taken a shining to Arthur.

And he had been completely amused by it. Amused might have been too mild of a word to use. Albert was completely enamored.

“I always wanted a pet.” He had told Arthur as he knelt down. A hand was brought out slowly towards the cat, and it seemed wary of it, but did not hiss. “My mother never allowed it though. She had various reasons, of course, but I think she just hated the idea of an animal shedding all over our furniture.”

“I was never too fond of cats. But they’re good animals. Good for mousin’.” Arthur smiled at him, but it was missed. The cat had completely taken all of Albert’s attention. “If you want, we can keep her.”

He had looked up with bright eyes then. “A her?”

He gave a nod. “Yeah.”

“Oh, what a lovely little lady.”

He couldn’t help but chuckled at that. “You’re too good, Albert. Too good.”

From then on, that cat had been spoiled rotten by Albert, who had taken to calling her by the most ridiculous name he had ever heard.

“I dub thee, Baroness Wilhelma Augusta Theresa Johanna Heinrike the 4th.” He gave a kiss to the Baroness’ head before looking to Arthur. He had laughed loudly, making the cat wiggle around in her arms. “Oh, Arthur you should see your face!”

“You’re ridiculous.” He shook his head, laughing.

“She will be Billy for short.”

“Will you even remember all of that?”

“Of course.” His tone shifted from muse to offence. “Arthur this is our daughter, of course I would remember the name I bestowed upon her. Shame on you.”

He didn’t respond to that proper, just with a hush whisper calling him ridiculous again. Arthur had gotten a pillow thrown at him for that.

It wasn’t till later that he realised what Albert had said. Their daughter. It was probably a joke, he tried to reason, but it had planted something in his mind. The idea of making a life with Albert. He had been well into bed then, staring up at a dark ceiling. He gasped hard at the sudden realisation, that he wanted that. He had then buried his face into the pillow, blushing hard.

 

-

 

Albert had gotten a job in town, or rather he had set up a business.

“I thought you hated taking photos of grumpy house fraus?” Arthur had teased him, the German word not fitting well at all in his mouth. Albert had blushed at that, a little shameful.

“Money is money and until we got things set up, I will be a portrait photographer again.”

“Whatever you say darlin’.” Arthur said absentmindedly, but he quickly realised he had added the affection at the end. It had meant to be something teasing and had been added in a fleeting thought. The meaning was lost of course. Albert had stared at him, something like shock on his face, but quickly looked away. He had shoved the rest of the tater into his mouth only to choke on them.

He had been by Albert’s side fast, giving pats onto the back till he was breathing was normal again.

“Are you alright?” He looked down to him, but Albert just nodded. His face was bright red.

“Once we have a bit more money, I think we should get some chickens.”

Arthur chuckled. “You almost died, and your priorities are chickens?”

“I’ve had many near-death experiences since meeting you, Mr. Morgan.” Arthur did not like that switch to the formal. “I don’t get as concerned as I use to.”

A week and a half later, Albert had delivered, and they had a few chickens to call their own. Something awkward seemed to hang between them though, and he was certain it wasn’t just the slip of the tongue.

 

-

 

They had taken the horses out onto a beaten path on the hopes of getting some photos. Albert had tried his hardest to have him stay at home. His coughing had been easing up the last couple months since they had settled, but he was still fretted over.

“If I don’t go with you, I’m sure you’ll find some way to meet your end.” He teased. “We’ve been here for how long now?”

“Four months.”

“Yeah and I haven’t had a single moment to go checking out the land. I’m going to go crazy if I stay in one place for too long.”

Albert had conceded then but had waved Arthur off when he had tried to help him pack for a day travel. The ride itself wasn’t that hard, but Albert seemed so quiet. He had approached the man several times about what had been bothering him, but all Arthur got was half-assed excuses and empty answers. Albert finally spoke when they reached the top of a hill looking down at the valley. Hoping off his horse, he marveled at the sight.

“It reminds me of West Elizabeth.” He said softly. “All these trees, the lushness of it all. Reminds me of when I took the wolf photo.”

“I remember. You hung up that meat and attracted the meanest wolves.” Arthur had smiled at the memory. He didn’t specify that he could remember the fear he had felt when those wolves had lunged at him or the relief had when he saw Albert unscathed. “Little Creek River. I ended up taking a photo of the wildflowers there.”

Albert had been in the process of pulling his camera off his horse, but had turned to him, eyes alight.

“You never told me that!” Blush settled on Albert’s cheeks and he tried to not think how pretty it made him look.

“Yeah.” He was suddenly feeling bashful. “I took a few while we were out East. Nothing like you’ve done.”

“Did you ever keep them?”

Arthur nodded and for the first time in days, Albert smiled at him in a full grin.

“Oh, please show me when we get back home.”

He then got to work setting up the camera to the valley. Arthur had stood to the side, watching him in that familiar pose with a focused expression. Eventually, Albert turned to Arthur and something like déjà vu happened.

“Stand here please.” Albert had said after wandering over to a specific spot. Right in front of the camera. He laughed at that.

“You won’t fool me again. I saw what you put up in the gallery in Saint Denis.”

“And I do not regret it. Please, Arthur. I want to have this moment immortalised and I want you in it.” The way he said that, so soft and sweet made his heart hammer away. He hummed in agreement, not trusting himself to respond.

He had struck a quick pose, though it could hardly be called a pose. He just stood there, sweating. Albert took his sweet time taking the photo, before looking up from beyond the camera with a smile on his face.

“As always,” He cooed. “You are an excellent subject.”

They had settled on going back after that, taking some time to eat and take in the sights one last time of course. Arthur had let his thoughts get the best of himself as he traveled back down, trailing behind Albert. Every so often he’d look up to his back. He would later scold himself for how he observed how broad he actually was. This thought led to another until he was thinking of how good Albert’s hand felt on him. How they contain so much strength. How much he missed being touched by him, and maybe he wanted those touches to lose their platonic meanings.

This had triggered a coughing fit that made him stop his horse and have Albert ride back to him concerned. He coughed harder when Albert had reached over to touch him.

 

-

 

The air was chilly, but dry. He had spent the rest of the day after their trip feeling skittish and trying to avoid Albert at all costs. He knew he had feelings for the man, and they were starting to spiral out of control. And he was too much of a coward to face him. But once night had settled, his courage came to him.

Stepping out onto the porch he was greeted by a sweet sight. Albert settled into the cushioned bench, blanket covering him and a glass of something in his hands. He stared out across the pond and creek, his face serene. His mouth seemed to go dry. Courage almost ran away from him again.

“Albert.” He croaked. He cleared his throat as he looked at Arthur. He tried again, tone steadier.  “Albert.” It still came of stiff and awkward.

“Hello.” He responded, seemingly taking no notice of Arthur's state. “Are you feeling better?”

Looking down, he gave a shrug.

“Well then. Sit by me please? No point in exerting yourself if you don’t feel well.”

Arthur said nothing and sat beside him silently. The bench didn’t have much room to begin with, and the way Albert sat on it, with feet tucked beneath him, Arthur was practically touching him. They sat there silently for a moment, and he enjoyed the heat that came off him.

“Do you like it here?” Albert eventually spoke up, quietly.

It was a good question. He was still plagued by thoughts of what had happened out East, thinking of those he had lost. He liked it here though, it felt good to be far from all of that. He felt even happy most days, something that seemed so foreign at first. But it wasn’t the place that he liked so much.

“You make this place nice.” Arthur admitted. “I’m happy here but cause you’re here.”

Practically a love confession, though he really didn’t want to think of it like that. He looked to Albert, hoping to catch his eyes. After a moment, with furrowed eyebrows, Albert did so. There was still enough light outside that it did wonders to the colours of his eyes.

He was breathless, but for new reasons.

“I feel the exact same.” He whispered; his green eyes wide. “You make everything feel better. More enjoyable.”

They stared at each other for a bit and it took him a moment to realise they had both instinctively leaned into each other. Arthur looked away then, feeling as though his heart was in his throat. After a moment, he felt a blanket thrown onto him and he stared down confused and then to Albert. He nearly choked when he realised Albert had moved closer to him and had now leaned into him completely.

His nerves eventually left him, and he put an arm around the man, pulling him in closer. They sat like that for a long while, not saying anything. But silence seemed to say everything.

 

-

 

Arthur brought home a phonograph one day after being gifted it by Mrs. Callaghan, an elderly widow. He had taken to doing errands around in Mariposa as a way to get some money on the side, and she had given him her old phonograph as payment instead. That had become a trend, as a week ago he had been gifted a lovely dog after helping as a farm hand. Albert loved this ‘new daughter’ as fiercely as he loved the Baroness.

He hoped that this new, albeit inanimate, addition would be just as loved.

“It’s fairly new.” She had told him with an accent that betrayed her as Welsh. He could only place it since it was so similar to what his mother’s had been. “I’ll be moving to San Jose soon. My son is settled there, and he has one in the home so there is no reason for me to bring it along.”

 “Well, you’ll be sorely missed, madame.” He had flashed her a quick smile then, trying to be as charming as he could. With a quick, but not to hard swipe at his arm she had laughed.

“Mr. Morgan you do too much flattering. Though, please take a few cylinders as well. Won’t have too much use for them too.”

Albert had been more than pleased to see phonograph. Arthur had watched him set it up in the living room, which was slowly becoming for furnished and decorated. Every so often his eyes would stray to a photograph that had been framed and placed on the table by the window. The one he had told Albert about that one day; the one of West Elizabeth.

“We can try to play it after dinner, perhaps?” Albert asked, drawing his attention away from the photograph. “Arthur?”

He gave a hum. “Yeah that sounds nice.”

“Better than spending another evening out on the porch.” He gave a small smile at that. Arthur didn’t know how to feel about the look in his eyes, but it sent flutters down into his stomach.

They had spent many nights out there, watching the creek, talking aimlessly in a way they never really had before. There had been times where Arthur wanted to place his hand under Albert’s jaw and bring their lips together, but he had never dared. Every day though, it seemed that this want grew stronger, but he was afraid. He could handle rejection, he had before.

Some how rejection from Albert seemed worse than anything he had experienced before.

They ate and had fought Baroness Billy and the new dog, Maxie between each bite. Billy had been successful in stealing a bit of fish from Arthur's plate when he had turned for a second. They had both laughed instead of scolded at her smug expression. She had take that opportunity to steal off of Albert's plate then. Once the plates had been cleared and they settled to the living room, Arthur had been pushed to choose the first song. He had pulled out one cylinder that was labelled to be Stephen Foster and was delighted to hear the first notes of “Beautiful Dreamer” come out clean and clear.

“Well I’ll need to go back to town tomorrow and give Mrs. Callaghan a kiss.” Arthur said with a laugh. “I remember at our camp we had one of these too, but it worked with those vinyls. Use to dance to them sometimes.”

“You dance?” The amusement in Albert’s question couldn’t be ignored. He suddenly felt defensive.

“Only a little. Maybe not that fancy dancing you New York Yankees do, but it’s been good enough.”

Albert laughed at that, and he could feel himself go red. He was still laughing as he got up to stop the cylinder.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked as he watched him take out the cylinder and place it back into its tube.

“I’m going to grab a good, slow song.” He was still confused. Albert looked to him, with a small smile. “And you’re going to dance with me.”

Oh. If he wasn’t red before, he sure was now. The idea was enticing, but god his heart could not take the idea of having Albert in his arms. There was no arguing, as he tried to speak up, he was hushed.

“I like to dance, Arthur. And I’d like to dance with you.”

He looked away then, biting his lip. “I really ain’t that good.”

“Then I will teach you.”

He heard to click of the cylinder and suddenly Albert was right on him. He only turned his head to look when a hand was placed onto his arm and another entwined itself into his hand.

“Will you be fine with leading?” He said softly.

“Of course.” Arthur replied back, just as soft.

The song began, a simple instrumental which he could not place. It was familiar, but his mind was not right enough to think on it. All he could focus on was how warm Albert felt under his hands. His hand wanted to trail down further his back but resisted this. They barely even danced, just swaying in spot.

“I’m very happy, you know.” Albert eventually said. “Never thought I’d be this happy.”

“Is that so?”

He hummed and gave a quick nod. He wasn’t looking directly into Arthur’s eyes, but seemed rather fixated on his mouth. With this, he instinctively licked them. “It’s silly to think, but I never felt destined for a happy life. I’ve always felt… dissatisfied with everything that was expected of me. You know my issues with my family.”

“Of course.” Arthur didn’t know how to continue but forced himself to; saying the first thing that came to mind. “I feel the same, in a way. That I was meant to either die by a noose or in bloodshed. Never was meant for something average or nice like this.”

It was then that Albert looked him in the eyes, tears swelling. “I think you deserve all the good things the world has to offer. Never met a kinder man. And I have met many men, Arthur. You have amazed me in ways no one else has. In all the best of ways.”

He wanted to laugh at that, but somehow felt sad at thought of it. “And you know I think the same for you.”

They went silent then but staring at each other. It was hard to say anything else, as the words he wanted to say were the ones he was so afraid of.

“Arthur Morgan.” Albert eventually whispered. “You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

Such a statement was like a blow to him. He stopped swaying then and stared at him dumbfounded. Albert blushed in response. They didn’t let go of each other however.

“I’m sorry that was so forward-“ Albert began to falter, and Arthur took it as a chance.

“Please tell me.” He pressed closer to him, enough so he could feel his heartbeat. “Please.”

The song was nearing its end, and it was then he was able to place the tune. The Last Rose of Summer. A sweet and mournful song. He knew it was about what it was like to be lonely, but in that moment, Arthur could not relate to it. Albert was looking at him with lips just parted so, and he felt so full.

“I think I love you.” Albert eventually said, tears choking him. “I love you. I won't dare say think again, I’ve never been so sure of anything before.”

“I love you too.” He was unashamed at the tears that fell down his cheek. He knew he wanted Albert’s love, but to know he had it was like a breath he had not taken in so long. He felt a swarm of emotions, but above all else he felt relief. “I really love you.”

He got a watery smile in return and Arthur knew he was lost then. There was no stopping the tears that came.

Albert made the first move after that, pulling his face closer to Arthur’s. He closed his eyes quickly and relished the feeling of lips against his. It was a chaste and soft thing; a simple press of lips. It was enough however to make him feel drunk.

The cylinder made another click as it came to an end.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: the phonograph that we see in the game wouldn't be invented for another 20 years.


End file.
